The Story About Faith Fumes

I just finished a semester of college. But as this semester came to an end, my college life was also put on hiatus for 18 months as I go to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (a.k.a. the Mormons). A great decision (you'll see). But because I was taking such a long hiatus, all of my stuff had to come with me, too. So how did the college student with three suitcases, three bags, two plastic tubs, and a backpack, all full to bursting, make the journey across four states to get home? I called in my fantastic mother, of course.

She really must love me. She came across those four states in one day, helped me deep clean my dorm to pass cleaning checks, took my friend along for the ride home, and packed the car, only to turn right back around and drive home. And, between her being tired from everything and me not having driven in a long time, she let me drive. And it was so good to be behind the wheel again.

But because I hadn't driven for a while, there were some things I forgot to do. Like check the gas gauge the next morning to see if I needed to put gas in the car. That thought never even crossed my mind. A few hours later, I was driving along contently and looked down to see that the gas light was on, the little arrow pointing straight at the E. I was literally out of gas. I looked up and realized that lo and behold, I was driving straight through the middle of the desert. There would be no gas station for miles. My heart sunk. I told my mom and she double checked me and sighed. "Well," she said, "it looks like we'll be running on faith fumes." 

Faith fumes is just an expression my family and I use that describes how the car illogically makes it to the next gas station, something that my family knows all to well. How does this work, you may ask, and how can I use them? Well, let me give you a little formula that has worked for me and my family.

First, you need to pray sincerely. As the driver, I said a quick prayer in my heart, as I couldn't close my eyes, and I kept that humble prayer of "please, Father, help us get to the nearest gas station" in my heart continuously. My mom also prayed, by bowing her head, folding her arms, and closing her eyes, to demonstrate the respect that our God should be shown.

Second, have faith that your prayer will be answered. This is probably the most important part of the formula, and goes hand in hand with the first part. God, our Father in Heaven, does, in fact, hear your prayers and answer them. And if you don't feel like He does, then ask Him if He is listening and He will respond, if you are open to His answer.

Third, don't doubt. Be positive that you will make it. I had to force myself not to look at the gas gauge, because that would make me focus on the likelihood and logistics of making it to the nearest gas station (which was who knows how far away). But I didn't want the logic to get in the way of my faith that we would make it. Push away those doubtful thoughts, and you can make it, too.

Fourth, understand that your prayers may not be answered in the way you expect it. Over and over again, I kept thinking "Even if we don't make it to the pump at the next gas station, we will make it to a point where pushing the car to the pump will not be too difficult a task." That was not necessarily the answer I hoped I would receive, but I knew that I would make it somehow, even if I did have to push the car.

Fifth, when your prayer is answered, be grateful. Pray again and thank your Father for listening and helping you along. He did it because He loves you.

So the conclusion to my story? We made it to a gas station. All the way to the pump. How far did we go to get there? Probably about 30 miles since I had first realized the light was on. And I checked to see the estimation of miles we had left in our tank, and yes, it was at 0 miles for the gas that was in the car. There is no logical way that we could have made it to this gas station in the middle of the desert, where there was nothing else. Faith fumes carried us through. And those faith fumes came from my Father in Heaven who loves me dearly.

"Remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto

the children of men, from the creation of Adam even

down until the time that ye shall receive these things,

and ponder it in your hearts."

-Moroni 10:3

The Story of Romello

This is Romello. He is one of the most kind-hearted people I have ever met. I don't know his story, only the things that he did for me. So let me tell you what he did for me.

It was my senior year of high school, and he was in two of my classes. He was one of the more popular people and had a knack for humor. He made the effort to talk to me, which was so sweet of him. We didn't talk all that often, either, but it was fun when we did. There was one day where I was talking to him and the conversation lapsed for a minute. He looked at me, looked at his girlfriend, looked back at me and said "I want to tell you something." And I said, "Um, okay, what?" And he proceeded to tell me that what he was about to say was completely serious and that he was not joking and that it was all true. Confused, I asked him what was on his mind and he said "Of all the girls in this class (which was probably somewhere between 40 and 50) I would date you."

What!? I just looked at him for a minute, then looked at his girlfriend, and then I laughed because nobody had or has ever said something like that to me (and it was completely unexpected and his girlfriend was sitting right next to him). And while I was laughing he said "No, really, I would," and he told me that he had talked to his girlfriend about it before (at that point I looked at her and she nodded). And then he started to tell me all these nice things about me that I didn't even know I had done! It was wonderful! And then I had to leave, and I thanked him a ton and said goodbye. 

So what can we learn from dear Romello? We can learn to compliment the people we admire. We can be honest and truthful and kind to brighten somebody's day. Receiving compliments, especially big ones like that, is so wonderful! But they need to happen more often! So open your mouths and say the nice things that you think!

A Note

I work at a dry cleaners. I think my job title is "assembler," because I am the person who puts all the clothes into bags and makes sure they all look okay. Oftentimes, my co-worker and I will get nice little notes from the police officers that say things like "Thank you for making my uniform not smell! Good luck on midterms this week!" So my co-worker and I decided to start writing those police officers back.

We didn't write anything grand, just something simple like "Thanks for your note! We really appreciated it, and we hope you have a fantastic day!" And we got a reply! Which we then replied to immediately, of course.

So what's the point of this whole thing? I don't know, really. I'm not a super extravagant person, I'm not super talkative, I'm not one to speak my thoughts. So I often express my thoughts and feelings to other people through little anonymous notes. In part that's because I don't want the attention, but also because when I get a little note from somebody, it makes me happy for the rest of the week. And I want people to be that happy too, but I don't want to get credit for being nice.

It's the small and simple acts that really make my day, and that really help to uplift other people, too. Remember that as we go about our days, that little things can make all the difference in somebody's happiness.

The Story of Shelley

Shelley is on the left, Faith (her amazing roommate) is on the right.

I met Shelley about two and a half months ago, when she moved in across the hall and two doors down from me. I think the first time we talked to each other was when I walked outside and she was sitting in the hall with some of the other girls, just talking, and she asked if they needed to move, if they were bothering me. That just shows you how nice she really is. She was willing to move her whole party for my sake.

But that's not all she does. She talks to every person she sees and immediately loves them. She smiles with this infectious smile and is so animated when she talks to you. She can brighten your day with the simplest of compliments and inspire you to be better and do better that day. She is so strong and courageous!

Lately, she's been going through a hard time, and I have noticed. And yet she still cheers you up, even though she isn't having a good day, or a good week. Shelley is just amazing like that. She is so optimistic it's unbearably wonderful. She is so happy, like she's just letting you have this whole little ray of sunshine to yourself. She doesn't think of herself, only others, and it makes a world of difference.

From Shelley, I have learned that I need to not focus on myself so much. Instead, I need to look outside myself at the wonderful people around me and really get to know them. I have learned that I can make a world difference in somebody's life by just talking to them and making them feel important. I am so glad that I was able to meet Shelley and get to know her even a little bit, because she is an inspiration.

The Story of Grant

That's him. He's a cool kid, that's for sure. He's one of my favorite people. He was in my history class, along with two of my other really great friends. At the beginning of the year, he wasn't the best person. I didn't know him super well, other than the fact that he went to my church. He always seemed like a sketchy person, and at the beginning of the year, I was right. He would swear a lot, even though he knew he shouldn't. He was very secretive. And he was very, very lazy. But, my friends and I talked to him pretty much everyday, because we knew him and he was our friend no matter what he did.

As the year progressed, he started hanging out with us more, rather than some of the other people in the class. We were always doing projects together and laughing and having fun while being productive (though that didn't always make the teacher happy). He didn't always like doing work, but we made him do it anyways. It was good for him. That was one of my all-time favorite classes of all of my high school career.

When we started to know him better, we started asking questions, things we wondered about. He always seemed taken aback by the things we thought he had done and defended himself. And then things would go back to normal. Towards the end of the year, we had a huge video project that he wrote the script for, and it turned out to be awesome (I'd post the video, but that would be too embarrassing). And it was because of him and his awesome talent as a musician and actor.

The year was finished, and we didn't see him as much. But we had an all youth activity where we went up and stayed in some cabins for four days. At the end of the four days, he came up to me and my two friends and told us with tears in his eyes (that he won't admit were there) that we literally changed his life, that we had motivated him to do better. We were all fighting tears at that point, amazed that we made such a difference. But what had we done? All we had ever done was talk to him, laugh with him, and ask him questions about the things that he did. We supported him and went to his plays, but that was really it.

I reflect on this story and I smile. I think about how it's the small things that really do make a difference, the small things that really motivate and transform a person into who they want to become. I also think about how I was too quick to judge, to assume that he was doing bad things. That was terribly mean of me, and I now have learned my lesson.

Now, he is working a job with kids that he absolutely loves. He is in an opera and aspires to become a music teacher. He is focused on preparing to serve the Lord, which I would never have thought he would do three years ago. He is truly an amazing person, and I am so glad that I have the chance to know him, because he is such a wonderful friend of mine.

Ask to Learn

I don't know Spanish, but my parents are both fluent. When I was little, my parents would randomly start speaking in Spanish to each other so my siblings and I wouldn't be able to understand what they were saying. I suspect they talked about things like where we were going to go the next vacation, or what they were getting us for Christmas, but I can't be sure. All the time, my siblings and I would ask what they were saying, and my parents would smile and laugh and say some vague answer, like "stuff."

I realize, now, that we were just asking the wrong question. What would've happened if instead of asking "what are you saying," we asked, "can you teach us Spanish?" Knowing my parents, they probably would've thought it would be the coolest thing to teach us Spanish. But, that's not the question we asked.

There are times in life where we really want to just know the outcome of things, but it can't be that way.  The Lord has a plan for each one of us, for you. He has designed His plan so that all we have to do is ask, and He will provide a way for us to find our answers. But we need to ask to be taught, not to know the answer. And once we ask, we have to act.

"Therefore, ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened."

              -3 Nephi 27:29

It's No Coincidence

I have a friend who is very different from the rest of the world. She has not had an easy life, and because of that, she has a lot of problems. But that doesn't make her less amazing; in fact, she is one of the coolest people I know, but she just can't see that for herself. It's really hard for me to have to watch her fight this internal battle, her own mind telling her she's no good and that she never will be. For the past few weeks, things have been especially hard for her, and it's been killing me to watch her struggle with everything. I've been so worried and have had absolutely no idea what to do.

Today, I sat in the same room as the true and living prophet of the Lord (President Thomas S. Monson), his two counselors, and the 12 apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, along with 22,000 other members and leaders. That was a blessing in and of itself. But one of the apostles, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, spoke to us today. He opened his talk by declaring that this was meant for the people who are depressed, and for those who are struggling to watch their loved ones struggle.

Every word he spoke I felt was meant just for me and my friend, like he had written this advice specifically for the two of us. It was incredible. And I know that this is not a coincidence. No, instead, this was a testimony builder that my Heavenly Father knows me, knows my friend, and is watching out for the two of us. He has heard my prayers for her, asking that she can realize who she is and that I can help her in any way I possibly could. It was a testament to me that my Father hears my prayers, and that He will always answer me.

Listen. Please listen. The Lord does answer your prayers! You don't have to take a number or be put on the waiting list; no, your Father hears you now, and He answers you in His own way. Sometimes, it appears as coincidence, but we know better; it's no coincidence. Ever.

Letters

Why do we love getting letters in the mail so much? Is it because it's a rarity in a world that is full of technology that allows us to communicate almost instantly? Maybe. Is it because it's something we don't expect? Maybe. Is it because our trip to the mailbox wasn't in vain? Maybe.

I think that it has to do most with the fact that it makes us feel like somebody cares. Somebody took the time to sit down and write you a letter, even though they could have easily sent you a quick email or text. Not only that, but they put thought and care into those words that they wrote you! That's part of the reason why I love getting letters so much.

This week, I got a particularly special letter. It was signed by the living and true prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. He is the prophet of God's church on the earth, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This letter that he sent me was my mission call. I am proud to tell you that I will be serving a mission for my Lord and Savior, even Jesus Christ. For 18 months, I will be His representative, be His hands full-time, and preach His gospel in the New Mexico Farmington area. I have been called to serve Him, and I will serve Him faithfully.

This is truly the best letter I have ever received.

After the Storm

This morning started off all fine and dandy. The sky was clear, the breeze was slight. I went to class, nothing out of the ordinary. Two hours later, I walked out of class, and the breeze had turned to a forceful wind, the sky had turned gray, and thunder was clapping, accompanied by its eternal companion: lightning.

Have you noticed that this can happen in life a lot? That we will have moments where the sky is clear and things are looking good, but shortly after our life turns chaotic and stormy? That is a part of life. Trials and hard times come. It's how we face them that matters. As I've said many times before, remember that there is always going to be a calm after your storm.

As I look outside my window, I can see the clouds receding, the wind slowing down. Things are clearing up. And you know what? The earth just seems a little cleaner.

Perfection

This is my first test score of college. It makes me unhappy. All of my life it seems I've gotten A's or high B's on my tests. Anything less than a high B feels like failure, and I hate it. So I walked out of the building pretty depressed, feeling like I was a failure and that I hadn't learned anything. I was fighting tears as I drudged back to my dorm, not wanting to break down and scare my roommate. And that didn't help because it only made me feel even more stupid for feeling like I was going to cry.

A C is not a bad grade, I told myself. But this class is one that I should know because I've been reading the text my entire life. So this grade hit me harder than it would have had it been for another class. What really made me upset was that I've been learning so much from this class! But this grade just doesn't show it.

I was trying to tell myself that it was okay, that now I know that I need to study a little more and study differently. I kept thinking about how much I had learned from the class. And I felt like that was more important than the grade. But then I kept worrying about how other people would see it, how other people would look at the score and scoff at me.

Then I got to my room and I felt like I should watch this video we talked about in one of my classes today. It's called "His Grace is Sufficient" by Brad Wilcox. About halfway through his speech, I just started bawling because it was almost word for word exactly what I had been telling myself the entire way home. "Perfection may be [my] ultimate goal, but for now [I need] to be content with progress in the right direction." I've learned so much in this class, I've come so far, and I will go far. And I'm not perfect yet.

But I don't need to be perfect right now. I don't need to get the perfect grade. I need to progress. I need to learn. I need to better myself until I am capable of obtaining perfection. And then I can obtain perfection. My only options are not (in the piano analogy) performing in Carnegie Hall or quitting (meaning perfection or giving in). I have to work to get to my Carnegie Hall. I have to work to get the perfect grade.

I have to work to achieve perfection.

Alone?

Nobody knows. Nobody possibly knows how I feel at this moment. This moment of trial, this moment of sorrow. Nobody can help me; this is something I have to face on my own. My family is far, my friends are few, and they don't understand. They couldn't. They can't. It's just me. Left to the overbearing thoughts in my head. Thoughts of unworthiness. Thoughts of hopelessness. Thoughts of despair. Nobody knows. Nobody will ever know. I am alone.

And then, through the darkness of my thoughts, a thin beam of bright light. "You are never alone," says a soft voice. That small light gives me hope. It dispels some of the darkness; I drink in its few glorious rays, eager to feel of its light. 

"I have not left you," the voice says again, "I am here." The brightness grows and I am filled with an indescribable warmth. The warmth and comfort of truth. "I know. I've felt what you've felt. You are my little sister. I know because I love you."

"And I promise that I will never leave you alone." My dark thoughts leave, vanquished by the light. I have a friend. I have a brother. I have a Savior. And He knows me. Me.

I am not alone.

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

           -Joshua 1:9

The Story of Brad

Tonight was a really cool night. I had the opportunity to meet a man named Brad. Brad lives alone with two horses and a cat named Panther. He is almost 60, and he has been through a lot. He served in the Marines and did a lot of things that he regrets. He has this mindset that because of the things he's done, no one loves him or cares about him.  He has been an alcoholic since he was twelve, and as of two days ago, he quit drinking...cold turkey. I could tell that he had it tough and that his body was having a really hard time. But he is determined to never drink again, and I can tell he means it.

It was really touching to hear Brad deny that people loved him. In our brief conversation, there was a point where he looked at me with sad eyes and said "You probably think I'm just a big wuss." But he is the farthest thing from a wuss I think I have ever seen. No matter what me or the other two Sister Missionaries said, he denied that people would ever love him. He told us over and over again how nobody could care about him because of the things he had done, that no one could understand.

Listen up. I don't care what you think people will think of you. No matter what you've done, no matter where you've been. People are drawn to you! They are accepting and kind and wonderful and you just have to let them in! Remember that nobody is perfect, that other people have flaws and have made mistakes too! And the only perfect person to ever walk this earth knows exactly what you're going through and is always there to help you through it, whatever it is.

"I can see that you've been through a lot and that you're going through a lot. But the fact that you are willing to overcome this and that you are going to overcome this is what is important."
         -Yours truly

Rely on the Savior, the One who knows how it feels, and you can overcome anything.

The Story of Tyler

About five years ago, I knew a guy named Tyler. He was funny and smart and popular...and I had a fat crush on him. The school year was winding down, and he and I were going to spend our days at new, different schools. But I didn't want him to just remember me as that one girl in that one class; I wanted him to remember me. So being the nerd and overachiever I am, I told him a quote almost everyday (I'm chocked full of 'em so it wasn't too hard). It was something simple I could do, and hopefully he would remember me for it, even if it was as Courtney, the girl who told him random quotes.

A year or so went by, and I hadn't heard from him. One day, I saw that he was online and decided to chat with him. We went through the formal things...how's it going, what're you up to, that kind of thing.  I asked him how he was liking his new school, and he told me all the things that he had accomplished. He was the class president, the leader of the percussionists, and he was taking all the advanced classes he could. At first I thought he was bragging, but that mindset changed with one sentence.

"You know, ever since you told me to make my life worth writing about, I've been trying harder in all aspects of my life."

To be completely truthful, I didn't even remember the quote I told him. I still don't know what it was, and I've been wracking my brains ever since, trying to remember it. But it just won't come to me. And in some ways, I'm glad it won't.

I only told him the quote because I wanted him to think of me as more than that one girl. I was being selfish. But that one little quote completely changed the way he viewed his life. I haven't talked to him since then. I don't know what he's done with his life, what his plans are. All I know is that I changed him. Even if it was only for a little bit and even if he only lived it for that short time, he still made an impact on other people as the class president and the leader of the percussionists and in all of his advanced classes.

Somehow, I made an impact on him. And he made an impact on other people, because of what I had told him. It was the first time I realized that, through the random little things I do for other people, I can change the world. And so can you.

Through the simple, random things you do every day, you will change the world.

Different, Not Less

I recently watched a movie about this woman. She is absolutely amazing. Her name is Temple Grandin and she is an inspiration. Temple was born with autism, and yet she has conquered the world. She went to boarding school and college, has a major in animal science, and is teaching at Colorado State University. An amazing woman, and yet the world would ostracize her. She had to fight her way to the life she has.

One of the lines that was said a few times in the movie was "different but not less." She is different, and she knows it; but she also knows that her differences do not make her any less than the rest of us. I have so much respect for this wonderful woman! She is a beacon of light in a dark world, someone people look up to, respect, and admire. She's strong and persistent and diligent. We need more people like her in this world.

All of us are different, there's no doubt about that. We each have little quirks that make us individuals, that set us apart from everybody else. How boring would the world be if we could all do the same things at the same level? Bleh! We are all peculiar, and we need to embrace those things that make us different. Those differences don't make us of any less worth. In the sight of God, we are all great and we are all His glorious, beautiful children.

Let's not judge others based on their differences. It's human nature to put people who are different than us below us on our worth scales. But those are evil and dangerous thoughts. It's something I need to work really hard on. People will never be worth any less, no matter how terrible or quiet or different they are. Just ask Temple. People put her beneath them, and yet she is so gifted and so talented and so smart. She is not less.

You are different, but that does NOT mean that you are less.